When I got pregnant after my first loss, my heart was full of fear. Fear that I was going to lose the baby again. So much so that I couldn’t even let myself feel the joy of being pregnant.
I remember the moment I told my therapist, who I’d been seeing after my loss. She said to me, “how do you feel?” And I answered with a simple, “well…I’m happy”. My hesitation was so obvious to her but I hadn’t even realized that I was feeling fear at all.
She immediately got to work to help me release those fears and I’m going to share what we did as well as some tools from own learning. But first, let me tell you why it’s so important to release these fears, and preferably before you get pregnant again. In fact, ideally, before you do anything else.
Fear wreaks havoc on our bodies. It triggers the flight or fight response. That’s what it’s there for. But even when there’s no predator to flee from or fight, our bodies carry out the same physical reactions:
- an adrenaline and cortisol overload: these are the hormones that tell your body to release carbohydrates into your bloodstream to fuel the brain and muscles. They wreak havoc on your hormones when you have prolonged fear
- immune and digestive system suppression: this happens so all the body’s attention can focus on fighting or fleeing. Your body will not process nutrients well when in this state, meaning less for you and your future baby. If you’re already pregnant, you’re likely to feel worse morning sickness. And you’ll get sick more easily at a time when you need all the energy you can get.
Whatever is going on in your body, physcially and emotionally, your baby is going to feel as well. Are you starting to see why it’s so important to release your fear BEFORE you get pregnant?
In order to release my fears and feel peaceful again, this is what I did:
1. Journal: you first need to understand what your fears are. There’s the fear of another loss, of course, but there’s also fear of never getting pregnant again. Or fear that you’ll never measure up to your mom friends. Fear that your body will always feel broken. Writing helps you to identify your fears. Ask yourself why you have them and what’s the root cause of them.
2. Meditate: One of my free meditations, Surrender Your Fertility Plan to the Universe will help you to release your fears and your control over your path. It will help you to gain trust in the Universe her plan for you.
3. Use Peace Reassuring essential oil blend: the oils in this blend are so effective at helping you to get to the root cause of your fears and to reconnect with the Universe, your true source of peace. Diffuse it or wear it topically over your heart centre. I like to keep it in my purse and use it like perfume.
4. Repeat an affirmation: once you’ve identified your fears and begun the process of releasing it, repeating an affirmation can help to stay in a state of peace. Try something like, “I allow myself to release my fears and welcome in inner peace” or “I am willing to let go of my fears so I can feel free”.
If you’ve had a miscarriage, it will feel so good to let go of your fears. I invite you to try at least one of these tools so you can begin trusting in your path and truly finding peace. Check back in with a comment to tell me how it went and also tell me about what else has helped you release fear.