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Most of us feel at least a little bit of shame, anger or resentment towards our bodies after a miscarriage.

In this episode, I’ll share:

  • Why so many women experience this feeling of body shame or hating their body after a loss
  • The counterintuitive thing you need to do in order to love your body again
  • Why it’s so important to do this

After a miscarriage, there’s this feeling that’s hard to describe.  It’s a bit like embarrassment. When I thought about what my body had been through, I didn’t want people to know about it.  I didn’t mind if they knew I had a loss, but I didn’t want them to think about my body or what had physically happened to it.

Then there was this other feeling.  When I was pregnant, I was one of those women whose nausea wasn’t so bad that I ever vomited. I just felt continuously mildly hungover.

So I ate in an effort to quell that feeling in my stomach.  Lots of carbs.  I gained some weight through the first trimester and was just starting to outgrow my pre-pregnancy clothes.  When I lost the baby, I felt like I had all this extra weight with nothing to show for it.  I felt cheated by my body.  And I was ashamed of my body.

Then there was this third feeling. A feeling of hatred.  It was a separateness from my uterus and my ovaries. Like it was me versus them. And they weren’t cooperating.  I started to develop this hate without even realizing it.

Can you relate to any of this?

What that feeling boils down to is shame. It’s that icky sort of feeling in the pit of the stomach. Sometimes its unrecognizable until you start paying attention to the symptoms of it.

If you’re anything like me, you just want to feel peace.  You want that icky feeling to go away.  You want your body to go back to normal as quickly as possible.

You want it to heal as quickly as possible so you can get on with getting pregnant again.  Or maybe it’s just that you want to feel good again if you’re not planning another pregnancy.  And you want your hormones, your uterus and your ovaries to be one with the rest of you.

 Why are you experiencing this?

You’re feeling this shame, these feelings towards your body, because your body didn’t do what it’s supposed to do at the most fundamental level.  You feel like you’re not normal (and you are BTW).   Your body defied what society tells us is the #1 role for women.  To carry a child and be a mother.

You also experienced something extremely intimate.  There is no other kind of death that is as intimate as the one that occurs inside of your own body.

The separateness is exacerbated by the medical world.  They talk about pregnancy loss in stats and numbers.  Your fertility in the same way.  They talk about your ovaries and your uterus as though they are something outside of you, yet your whole body feels the impact of what they say about them.

The counterintuitive thing you need to do in order to fix it? Love your body.

I realize that’s easier said than done.  You can’t just say “I love my body” and it happens. 

Here are 3 secrets to shifting your body image to one of love:

1. Shift your perspective: your body went through a pregnancy and then a birth. A BIRTH. You are post-partum after your baby’s birth.  It’s normal to have gained some weight.  It’s normal to feel a need to heal physically.  Some women even experience their milk coming in.  Others may be prone to post-partum depression or anxiety on top of their grief.

2. Forgive your body. It wants to be a part of you. Your uterus wants to carry another baby. Your ovaries want to produce more eggs.  They desire to work with you. When you let go of your hatred towards your body, it will let go of that extra weight if you’re carrying any.  I have a FREE 10 minute meditation download for you that will teach you how to do this. 

3. Tell your body how much you love it. Nourish it.  Nurture it.  Comfort it.  Talk to your hormones, your uterus, your ovaries.  Tell them that you’re ready to love them again.  You’re ready to reconnect.

What happens when you don’t shift your perspective?

If you don’t do this, you may experience this in the back of you mind forever.  Your physical body is connected to your emotional so you may have trouble healing your physical body as well.

This is what happened to me. I couldn’t get my hormones in balance. Doctors could find nothing wrong with me, yet I couldn’t get pregnant and couldn’t keep the 3 babies that we were able to conceive.

You have a choice now.  You’ve been offered an alternative perspective.  What I see happening on social media is women posting about this topic and they get many “amens” and “100%”.  For a moment, there’s a feeling of not being so alone.  But ultimately, you walk away from those posts still hating your body.

You can keep on feeling this sort of body shame and body hatred. You may never feel good about your body again.  Or you can consider this alterative perspective I’ve given you.  You can shift your own perspective and start your healing today.  Get started by downloading the free meditation I recorded for you. 

References from this episode:

How to Use Art to Fast Track Healing After a Pregnancy Loss with Sabrina of The Undone Path

Meditation Download for Shifting Your Body Image

Love and Loss private FB community

Sheri Johnson